Dump the cream cheese into a big bowl and allow it to get to room temperature.

Meanwhile, put half of the pimentos plus the garlic into a food processor and puree until smooth. Alternatively, smash the entire jar of drained pimentos with a fork, then dice the garlic and mash it up in a mortar and pestle. Mix the pimento and garlic together.

Transfer the pimento puree to the bowl of cream cheese, add the remaining ingredients, and mix everything together until it's well combined.

Chill until you’re ready to serve. Use as a spread on crackers, bread, or celery.